just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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