Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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