That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
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