I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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