i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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