i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
