Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Randomize
