yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
