my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
