The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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