In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
it was like eating out sand paper
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
