Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
