I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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