Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
