My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
