Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
In the future we'll all be gay
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Randomize
