His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
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