Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Randomize
