I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Randomize
