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• (515): View more from Iowa

  Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?

  (847): View more from Illinois

  Beat you to it.

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• (678): View more from Georgia

  Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.

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• (931): View more from Tennessee

  He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.

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• (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?

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• (310): View more from California

  I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.

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• (803): View more from South Carolina

  Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.

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• (609): View more from New Jersey

  I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.

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• (614): View more from Ohio

  For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months

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• (901): View more from Tennessee

  I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.

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• (503): View more from Oregon

  For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"

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• (443): View more from Maryland

  There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.

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• (256): View more from Alabama

  We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville

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• (585): View more from New York

  I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila

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• (425): View more from Washington

  So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy

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• (310): View more from California

  I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me

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