How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
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