I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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