i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Randomize
