the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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