ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize
