You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Randomize
