Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
