I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
