so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
