just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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