Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
