I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
