It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
