like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
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