My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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