hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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