He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
