Well apparently he's into motor boating.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
being pregnant is like rehab
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
