Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
