dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
