seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
did i walk over a car last night?
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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