i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize