I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
