Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
