guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
