my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
