We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
