its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
