apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Randomize
