OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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