Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
