Someone shit on the floor
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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