I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
