So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
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