i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize