I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Randomize
