we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Randomize