i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Randomize
