Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
