im drinking this country out of the recession.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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