I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize