did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Dignity is for republicans.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
