You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
