the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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