I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
